Whose acting is best in Manchester United’s weird Independence Day ad?

Daniel Day-Lewis, your job is safe.

Manchester United stars in Independence Day: Resurgence
WTF Manchester United stars in Independence Day: Resurgence. Image Picture Twitter/Manchester United

Wayne Rooney has already featured in a quite bizarre advert for X-Men: Apocalypse, and now he’s drafted in his Manchester United teammates for another unlikely movie crossover.

Rooney, Juan Mata, Chris Smalling, Daley Blind and Ashley Young are seen piloting hi-tech spacecraft to battle alien invaders in a tweet promoting Independence Day: Resurgence. Somehow they even managed to rope Jeff Goldblum into it.

This isn’t even the full video advert, but already it’s prompted a backlash on social media. “Can’t see Zlatan doing shit like this if he signs,” said JonesGagsj, while CurtiZSe7eN replied: “Can we just qualify for the Champions League before the start fighting aliens.”

Despite the anger, it’s worth noting that footballers have short careers and usually have to start assessing their options once they hit their 30s. Could this be a stealth audition for a Hollywood career? Probably not, but let’s pretend for a second. Here’s Loaded’s ranking of the ‘acting’ on display in this Independence Day teaser.


5

Daley Blind

A glazed stare off into the distance. The Dutchman doesn’t look like he’s even trying, instead relying on matinee idol looks to get him by. At best this is Joey Tribbiani ‘smell the fart’ acting. Jose Mourinho will not be impressed.

4

Ashley Young

More bewilderment than anything else, Young is attempting… something here. Maybe it’s the smug look of a man who’s just downed an extraterrestrial warship and is about to fly home. Maybe. 

3

Chris Smalling

If anything, Smalling is trying way too hard here. The open-mouthed gawp is pure soap opera over-acting. There’s not much here to suggest he’s giving his director (Mourinho?) any nuance. Maybe it’s because he had a half-decent season for United and is confident of a starting berth with Jose.

2

Wayne Rooney

Intense concentration from Rooney here as he’s clearly trying to wrestle an alien craft into his crosshairs. This is exactly the kind of focus Wayne will need when he inevitably has to step up to take a penalty for England in a heartbreaking Euro 2016 quarter-final defeat.

1

Juan Mata

Now we’re talking. Mata’s jaw is jutted out and anger is etched across his face. He’s not only in a dogfight with extraterrestrial invaders, but also a war for a place in United’s starting XI. Mourinho deemed him surplus to requirements at Chelsea – and based on this compelling performance he’ll be back in favour with the new gaffer.

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Loaded digital media manager Simon Reynolds has written about film and entertainment for various leading websites since 2008. Follow Simon at @simonreyn

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