This Full-Size Chocolate Submachine Gun Is The Christmas Gift From Hell

What do you get for the person who has everything? A $79 chocolate automatic firearm.

The chocolate machine gun.
The chocolate machine gun. Yours for only... Image Sig Sauer

You would think that the current climate of concern around gun control in the US would prevent some people from celebrating all things firearm-related this Christmas – but you would be wrong.

Because Sig Sauar, a firearm company in New Hampshire the US is pulling out all the stops for gun lovers this Christmas with a festive gift that looks deadly and delicious in almost equal measure.

It’s a full-size chocolate replica of a submachine gun, or 2Ib chocolate MPX, which has been modelled on the company’s existing SIG MPX pistol.

“This limited edition solid chocolate gun is an exact replica of our SIG MPX pistol. Compliant in all 50 states. LIMITED SUPPLIES! SIG ONLINE STORE ONLY. Get yours.” the Facebook promotion for the new item reads.

The chocolate machine gun.
The chocolate machine gun. Wow. Just wow.

It’s difficult to know where to start with this one but let’s just go with the fact that it’s probably more than a little irresponsible to be selling sweets shaped like lethal weapons – though we imagine whoever is behind this product is a bit of a weapon already.

Then there’s the other absurd point to note about this machine-gun-shaped bit of chocolate: it’s $79.

What kind of idiot is going to spend $79 on a bit of chocolate shaped like a gun? Oh wait, probably the same sort of person who believes the best deterrent to gun crimes and atrocities is more guns.

In any case, it amounts to $40/Ib for the chocolate – that’s a lot more than even the most expensive of cinema pick’n’mix kiosks.

The chocolate gun

There are couple of things that are absolutely spot on about the chocolate submachine gun though – it would make for a very dumb, ill-advised purchase and, much like the gun it’s modelled on, it’s seriously bad for your health.

In any case, it seems like Sig Sauer have seen sense, with the link taking you to the replica chocolate gun’s purchase page since taken down from their site. They must have a load of these bad boys left over though. Here’s hoping someone melts them down to create a more appropriate chocolate treat.

There’s a sneaking suspicion it was all part of some clever marketing ploy, Sig Sauer has been left looking pretty dumb in the end.

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Loaded staff writer Jack Beresford has produced content for Lad Bible, Axonn Media and a variety of online sports and news media outlets.