Which type of partner are you? The definitive guide right here…

Landscapes of the Heart author Juliet Grayson has Loaded asking: which type are you?

Brad Pitt and Angelina Jolie in By The Sea
Oh boy Well this is awkward Image Picture courtesy Universal Pictures

While apps and online dating has made it easier to meet someone, actual relationships still regularly fall foul of the same niggling disagreements and arguments.

However, one key step towards enjoying a healthier love life may be by first looking inwards.

Are you kind or cold? Selfish or selfless? Do you crave their company or seek more alone time?

For relationship therapist Juliet Grayson, author of Landscapes Of The Heart, we all fall into four specific categories when it comes to our behaviour in relationships: the Boss, the Loner, the Pleaser and the Self-Developer.

“The boss, the loner and the pleaser are all caught up in needing the other person to be in an emotionally balanced state in order to feel OK themselves,” she explains.

“It’s called emotional fusion – when you’re caught up in what the other person thinks or feels rather than your own feelings. You don’t know you’re doing it but most people do.”

Here, Loaded examines her theory in more detail.


 

1

The Boss

Alan Sugar

 

“These individuals seek to control or stifle their partner so that they don’t feel bad. They look to influence their partner in this away as a means of making everything OK.” 

2

The Pleaser

bake off

 

“A pleaser’s way of controlling is by placating and making everything okay. These are your new-age men who are busy doing the cooking, washing and generally trying to compensate to make things okay.”

3

The Loner

Actor-Marlon-Brando-rides-a-Triumph-motorcycle-in-a-scene-from-the-movie-The-Wild-One

 

“Despite what you may first assume, the loner is also very caught up in other people’s feelings. They manage it by keeping a distance and avoiding moments of intimacy because the other person’s impact on them is too powerful.”

4

The Self-Developer

Steve Carell

“The self-developer has the ability to be themselves and be in a relationship despite those conflicting drives. Because being yourself doesn’t always sit well with the drive to be part of a couple. But reach the stage of self-developer and you’ve got it sussed.”

Landscapes Of The Heart: The working World Of A sex And Relationship Therapist is out now from Sleeping Mountain Press.

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Loaded staff writer Jack Beresford has produced content for Lad Bible, Axonn Media and a variety of online sports and news media outlets.

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jennifer sadler

Although this seems simplistic, actually it works well. I can see that I am a pleaser and my husband is the boss. And I have been in a relationship with a loner.

grumpyoldman

It may appear as simplistic, but it set me thinking and reflecting and it seems to me that there is a lot of truth to what is written. It appears to explain something about why my relationships seem to have had similar patterns develop. Will be looking out for this book – seems an interesting read.

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