Sting and Shaggy are on a mission: they want to make music together. Not just any music though: they want to make the kind of music you might make a baby to.
Sexy music. Fertility music. Music that you may want to avoid playing in front of your mum.
That’s why these two musical titans have teamed up to release an album together called 44/876. Its set to be a collection of reggae pop songs features everything you know and love about Sting and Shaggy.
You can bet your bottom dollar that Sting will be putting on that fake Jamaican accent he sometimes does when he sings. As for Shaggy, well, Shaggy will be doing his old familiar Shaggy voice. You the know one you’ve been trying and failing to imitate all these years.
The first single from the new album has already been uploaded to YouTube and the good news is that it’s not utter toilet.
In fact, Don’t Make Me Wait is surprisingly catching. It’s not quite contemporary, of course – it would have been better off coming out back in 1999 but that’s besides the point.
The point is that Sting and Shaggy have been busy working on this album with the sole intention of encouraging all the couples out that to procreate.
Playing a snippet of the album to a reporter from Rolling Stone, Shaggy was heard to remark: “Doesn’t that just sound like something that hundreds of women would get pregnant to?”
So if you arrive home to the dulcet tones of Sting and Shaggy, lilting their way through another radio-friendly bit of reggae SKA pop, then prepare yourself: because you may be on the cusp of parenthood.
It’s the musical collaboration 2018 deserves but not the one it needs right now. That would be something like Adele and Beyonce. Now that could be some baby-making music right there…
Loaded staff writer Jack Beresford has produced content for Lad Bible, Axonn Media and a variety of online sports and news media outlets.