In news sure to scare the living hell out of any sane person, a Russian state TV station has begun offering tips to viewers on how to best prepare for the impending World War Three.
The Kremlin-owned Rossiya-24 broadcast handy tips on what food to take into bomb shelters and to have some iodine on hand in case of any pesky radiation leaks.
“The food supply for doomsday includes many items but the main idea behind packing an emergency stock is less sweets, more water,” the report said.
They were advised to pack rise as it “can be tored for up to eight years” while oatmeal was also recommended.
“Obviously, you can survive on tinned meat for quite a while – up to five years, while canned fish keeps for not more than two years.
“Of course it is hard to do without milk, at least powdered, sugar and salt. Russian tradition suggests we should buy pasta in times of cataclysms. But professional survivors do not recommend taking this product into bomb shelters.”
Rossiya-24 presenter Alexey Kazakov added: “Life in the underground world will be particularly hard for the sweet toothed. ‘Chocolates, sweets, condensed milk, all this will have to be left behind. ‘Yes, glucose is a great source of energy but sweets cause thirst, and water will become the most precious source for residents of bomb shelters.”
They even got another so-called expert by the name of Eduard Khalilov to offer up some advice over Skype.
“The more water, the better. Because you can survive for two to three weeks without food, but it gets really hard without water after three days only. Water is needed to digest food too. And water is the first thing one should think of. Experts say that it is also necessary to take supplies of medicines with iodine that help body deal with radiation.”
The report came amid escalating tensions involving Syria which could see Russia go to war with the US and UK.
Maybe get building that shelter now.
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Loaded staff writer Jack Beresford has produced content for Lad Bible, Axonn Media and a variety of online sports and news media outlets.