The precise age at which you should probably consider stopping clubbing altogether has been calculated and its bad news.
According to a study of some 5,000 UK adults, 37 is the age at which you are officially “too old” to be downing Jagerbombs and busting moves on the dance floor.
The very fact that loaded is still using the term “busting moves” should give you some indication of our age bracket but the harsh reality is that clubs are for young people and pubs are for us grown-ups.
There will be those who ignore all sane advice, in favour of squeezing themselves in to some ill-fitting slim-fit jeans and a dodgy shirt before hitting a cool local nightspot.
But the study offers a stern warning to such deluded souls with 37 per cent of respondents reckoning “there is nothing more tragic than seeing adults in their 40s and 50s surrounded by twentysomethings in pubs and bars.”
Ouch. And yet it gets worse.
According to the research, once we hit the age of 31, most of us don’t even want to go out on a Saturday night with some 46 per cent of those quizzed preferring to lounge around on the weekend, avoiding social events at any cost.
The need to dress up is cited as the main reason most are against going out with 22 per cent saying they would prefer to stay in than get into some snazzy shoes.
60 per cent, meanwhile, felt that nights out were simply too pricey while 29 per cent said they simply couldn’t bear a post-boozing Sunday hangover.
Having a partner evidently makes a difference with just under seven in 10 respondents stating they felt that, once they had met “the one” they no longer needed to trawl bars and clubs in search of potential partners.
Either way, it might be time to take a good hard look at yourself in the reflection of your pint glass. You might not like what you see.
Loaded staff writer Jack Beresford has produced content for Lad Bible, Axonn Media and a variety of online sports and news media outlets.