Teachers Reveal Creepiest Things Kids Have Done In Their Classrooms

Educators of the world let rip on Reddit

Cameron Diaz in Bad Teacher
Bad Teacher Cameron Diaz would blush at some of this. Image Columbia Pictures

Reddit has always will be a great source for anyone seeking something a little weird and wonderful online, so when loaded got wind of an AMA thread of teachers sharing their creepiest classroom experiences we just had to take a look.

Fortunately, the thread in question did not disappoint with a wealth of stories that were strange, gross and, at times just plain juvenile.

Here are 11 of the best.


1

Sandwich Hands

aerokitty

“I had a student accurately describe the sandwich I had for lunch just by smelling my hands.”

2

Child Of The Corn

MrRipShitUp

“A pale white, blue eyed, blonde haired 6 year old girl told my co-teacher she (my co-teacher not the kid) was pregnant in the middle of a math lesson. She said it as monotone and creepily as you can imagine. The kids even cringed. My co-teacher found out a week later that she was… she had no idea.”

3

Rebel Without A Tissue

Red-Rise

“Students were independently working and I was printing some documents I needed for a conference at my desk. A couple students were goofing off, one of whom I addressed several times already. I called that student to my desk so I could talk to him. He approached my desk. As I began to speak, he snorted and then spat a wad of discolored snot into his hand. While maintaining eye contact, he smeared it across my desk as an act of defiance.”

4

Bone Idle

fuzzyfloof

“Kid opens his backpack and has a pile of chicken bones spill out onto the floor. Apparently his parents were putting voodoo spells on him in order to change some of his lifestyle choices.”

5

Bloody Hell

NoClueDad

“Student picked his nose until it bled then put his finger in his nose and used the blood on the tip to make a pattern on his paper. He would also frequently look at other students and drag his finger across his throat with no expression on his face. He was 8.”

6

The Voices

cocoferetti

“When I taught 3rd graders, one of them heard voices and would talk back to them out loud. Of course the other kids assumed he was always talking to them. He would often say ‘I’m going to kill you because you’re fat’ to the voices he hears but if a kid was in his area and heard it they would usually come tell me that he called them fat. As in, the threat to kill them didn’t bother them as much as being called fat did.”

7

Pleased To Meat You

staticfingertips

“My sister had a (high school) student who was carrying a piece of raw meat in his backpack and would not get rid of it. It was starting to smell. She sent a friend with him to throw it out in the dumpster, and when they came back, the kid was like, ‘I just couldn’t do it.'”

8

Smell Hell

ScorchingBullet

“Some kid in my Grade 7 class farted, like really bad.

Not only was it the worst thing I’ve ever smelt, but it lingered, and spread.

Our school was open concept, and it spread, from classroom to classroom. I don’t know how it could happen, but it did.

Our class had to leave, because it was unbearable, we went to work in the library.

All I can remember is the kid saying, ‘It smells like pumpkins.’

I wish it smelled like pumpkins, if that was a pumpkin, that would be a very old and rotten pumpkin, because it was like something died.”

9

Truly Chilling

afc8

“There’s an abandoned tennis court around the corner from the school where I teach. I was taking my kindergarten class on a field trip last Friday, when we drove past it on the bus one of the girls sitting behind me said ‘Mr Afc8, I used to play there when I was an old lady.’ It sent a chill down my spine.”

10

The Cool Kid

vfhuuuuu

“When I was in kindergarten, some kid poo poo’d on the floor in the middle of class while the teacher was out of the room. He then started eating the poo poo off the floor. The teacher walked in and stared at him with a look of disbelief on her face. He then blurted out ‘Now I’m the cool kid! Right miss teacher?’. She took him to the office where he got suspended. Don’t know what he was thinking.”

11

Come Get Me

embf103191

“A kid shit in a sock, stood up on a desk, and started to swing the sock around like a helicopter. While trying to de-escalate him, he stripped down and smeared shit across his body like war paint and said ‘Come Get Me!'”

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Loaded staff writer Jack Beresford has produced content for Lad Bible, Axonn Media and a variety of online sports and news media outlets.