Chestnuts roasting on an open fire, presents under the tree, Pornhub on the laptop… wait, what?
Porn might be the last thing you think about at Christmas, but it’s actually an incredibly busy time of year for the adult movie industry. In fact, there are countless Xmas (or XXX-mas) films themed around all things Christmas.
See the best Christmas porn movies below, and have yourself a horny little Christmas…
The most recent film on the list, 2014’s Dirty Santa stars Phoenix Marie and Mia Malkova, and features all the festive frolicking you’d expect. As you might have predicted,the movie includes a pretty weird ass story too. The Description reads:
After getting his butt whooped, Santa asks three guys, Tom, Dick and Harry to save Christmas by using his magical suit. The suit has the power to teleport anywhere, deliver presents and more.
Ho Ho Ho
Janet Mason and Kortney Kane star in 2010 movie Ho Ho Ho. Judging by the bio, the pair play nurses who turn to sex to earn more money… or something. The cover doesn’t exactly sell it as a Christmas movie, but it sounds like loads of festive fun.
Miracle on 69th Street
If we’re being honest, we know nothing about this movie other than it’s got a brilliant name. The description of the film – obviously a parody of Miracle On 42nd Street – reads:
“It’s a Christmas tale with the true sense of giving. When Santa needs help delivering his gifts, the hottest babes come out to help fill stockings. They’re ready and willing to trim your tree, but just remember, they want more than just milk and cookies.”
Here Cumz Santa
Jenna Presley (no relation) stars in this 2005 romp, which sounds like it’s basically just a normal porno with a few Santa hats thrown in for good measure. “This Xmas She’s Unwrapping Your Package!” the bio reads. Festive!
Tits A Wonderful Life
The most profound Christmas movie ever made gets a brilliant porn parody in the brilliant titled Tits A Wonderful Life. Lisa Ann appeared as the adult movie equivalent of George Bailey in the 2004 XXX flick, and if you’re looking to get into the festive spirit this Christmas, this might be the porno for you.