Everyone knows the story of the lost city of Pompeii, a Roman settlement that was destroyed around the year 79 AD after the nearby Mount Vesuvius erupted.
What few people probably realise, however, is that in amongst the remains of some 1,500 people discovered at the site, there actually lay the world’s first recorded sighting of a man masturbating.
Mind you, most people probably didn’t realise that because it’s a load of rubbish – though Twitter would have you believe otherwise.
When Giuseppe Fiorelli first hit upon the idea of recreating the shapes of those consumed by Vesuvius’ onrushing lava all those years ago, using a special casting method, he probably never planned for something like this.
Because, in among the emerging images of people crouching down in fear or running away in terror, there lay man, in a house, appearing to touch his groin.
The image, first shared on the Pompeii Archaeological Park Instagram account, is a little dodgy and it would be foolish to completely dismiss the idea that he may have been having a solo guitar session.
After all, most historians reckon the people of Pompei died as a result of the extreme heat rather than any form of suffocation and would have passed away almost instantly, keeping whatever position they were in at the time.
Still, the reaction of Twitter has been childish to say the least and very, very funny.
He died holding his loved ones.
— Persian Rose (@PersianRose1) July 2, 2017
This man saw his entire world crumbling to fire and ash and decided to crank one out before facing eternity. Legend. https://t.co/KSBhPXfVOB
— Andre (@andredoesthings) July 2, 2017
When someone says evacuate, but you thought they said ejaculate…..
— David Tossell (@DavidTossell) July 2, 2017
In a way, loaded kind of hopes he was bashing one out – that way we know he died doing something he loved.
Loaded staff writer Jack Beresford has produced content for Lad Bible, Axonn Media and a variety of online sports and news media outlets.