Donald Trump’s done it again.
Just when you thought the Republican shit-cannon’s buffoonery couldn’t stretch any further, he’s gone and hit the big red button marked “FUCKING WEIRD”.
This week at Trump’s rally in Pensacola, Florida, the ferret-haired fuckshovel unveiled the Official Donald Trump Jam to 10,000 of his loyal followers.
You literally couldn’t make it up. Nor would you want to.
It starts with the lyrics “Are you serious” followed shortly after by “I can’t handle this’, which sums the whole thing up fairly well.
It’s sounds like a bizarrely skewed arrangement of the The Venga Boys – if they were under the musical direction of The Kardashians circa the time they made that “song” for their mum’s 60th birthday.
With lyrics like “Deal from strength or get crushed every time”, the whole thing initially looks like the most wonderful Christopher Morris parody of the Trump campaign, until you realise it’s real.
The choreography itself is actually second to none, aside from the fact that one of the hapless children seems to have been left stranded alone on the left of Trump’s parapet. One can only imagine another child came to their senses and backed out just before the rest were pushed on-stage by their eager Republican parents.
The essence of the song is much the same as his maligned campaign: to re-establish a sense of freedom in America, which still feels hugely warped from the man famed for firing out lines like “Ban all Muslims”.
The only thing more entertaining than the song itself is the slack-jawed faces of those sat behind who seem to have just realised just how stupid this whole façade is. The concerning fact is that it took Trump’s first stab at the charts and not the crap that falls out of his mouth on a daily basis to make them realise this.
Fortunately, the only people who will be more embarrassed than the children in a few years’ time will be those sat behind with toothy grins, when they come to their senses, finally grasping that they were duped by his vile right-wing propaganda.
We can only hope the words “President Trump” repeated in the jam send sufficient shockwaves across the world to derail this whole shitshow, even if those with gurning smiles in the crowd still don’t seem to realise that the word “Ameri-tude” makes about as much sense as most of his ‘policies’.
Hat tip, Donald Trump’s lyricist. You have excelled yourself.
Loaded reporter Robert McCallum has written for many leading culture magazines and websites about music, sport, science, politics, fashion and arts. Follow Robert at @therobmccallum