Man With No Arms Accused Of Stabbing Tourist

Nothing about this makes sense.

Jackie Chan looking very confused.
Confused? You should be.

Meet Jonathan Crenshaw.

He’s the 46-year-old at the centre of one of the most bafflingly bizarre crimes ever reported.

Because Jonathan stands accused of stabbing a tourist. But there’s one problem: Jonathan doesn’t have any arms.

That’s not stopped 22-year-old Cesar Coronado from levelling this particularly unusual accusation at the Chicago resident.

According to Cesar, the incident occurred when he approached Jonathan asking for directions.

Out of nowhere, the 46-year-old apparently grabbed a pair of scissors with his feet and stabbed Cesar twice before running away.

When police arrived on the scene and arrested Jonathan, however, he had a different story.

He claims he picked up the scissors in self-defense after Cesar punched him in the head.

Unfortunately, for Jonathan, a friend corroborated Cesar’s claim that it was an unprovoked attack.

Jonathan also has a lengthy arrest record and is said to be pretty nifty with his feet – he even paints with them.

He’s now facing one felony count of battery over the incident. Still not sure how the whole handcuffs thing works there. They may want to keep an eye on him.

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Loaded staff writer Jack Beresford has produced content for Lad Bible, Axonn Media and a variety of online sports and news media outlets.