There’s only one thing worse than being mugged: being mugged and waking up to discover those same muggers have somehow managed to shove a large metal cup up your anus.
Thankfully, it’s not a scenario many of us will have to face in life.
Alas, for 62-year-old security guard Ramdin, it’s very much a reality. Or, at least, that’s the story he’s sticking to.
According to a report from Metro, Ramdin was attacked and robbed of £545 in cash after selling his beloved motorbike.
When he came round from the attack, he recalled suffering a severe abdominal pain.
However, it took him a further 10 days to visit his local hospital, where a scan revealed the true horror of the situation: not only had he been mugged, but he now had a steel cup lodged inside him.
Quite where the cup came from is anyone’s guess and while it may have been made from stainless steel, it’s unlikely to be used again.
All jokes aside, the discovery prompted immediate action from surgeons at Rama Hospital in Kanpur city in India, who were left with little option but to operate.
Senior surgeon Dr Dinesh Kumar told Metro: “In the vicious attack he fell unconscious and did not know what transpired during this period.
“After ten days on June 26 he came to us with severe abdominal pain and discharge from his anus.
“We conducted an ultrasound scan to find out the problem and were astonished to see a steel tumbler lodged inside his abdomen.
“It seems that the metal cup was inserted into Ramdin’s rectum by the goons, and it got stuck near the intestines, causing him acute pain.
“Initially, we tried to remove the cup through the anus itself, but after an hour despite our best efforts, we couldn’t get it out.
‘Then we decided to do an invasive surgery from the stomach, and got the metal cup out.’
This horrifying procedure lasted a whole two hours though, thankfully, Ramdin was under anaesthetic for the duration.
He’s since been discharged from the hospital.
The incident comes hot on the heels of an incident in which a man was admitted to hospital after shoving an aubergine up his arse in an apparent attempt to cure constipation.
Loaded staff writer Jack Beresford has produced content for Lad Bible, Axonn Media and a variety of online sports and news media outlets.