Joachim Low has some explaining to do after the Germany coach was, quite literally, caught with his hands down his trousers during their Euro 2016 opener against Ukraine.
Blokes have been known to indulge in a bit of “pocket billiards” from time to time, but Die Mannschaft’s main man probably should have reserved such undercarriage rearrangements for the dressing room, rather than doing it in front of a watching global TV audience of millions.
— Kristof Terreur (@HLNinEngeland) June 12, 2016
Moreover, Low’s ball-play was not the worst part of it – that moment came the minute the German decided to smell his fingers. Sweet Jesus, those hands have been on the World Cup trophy.
Mind you, the German has form when it comes to being completing fucking gross on the touchline for the national side.
Two years ago, Low was caught on camera seemingly picking his nose and eating the golden nuggets discovered inside, before going to shake hands with Cristiano Ronaldo.
That wasn’t even his first offence either, with Low guilty of indulging in more nose mining during the 2010 World Cup.
Maybe someone should think about laying on some nibbles for the Germany national team bench – just an idea.
It is very different from the antics of England’s main man Roy Hodgson, who usually restricts his touchline antics to staring open mouthed at the game, looking like an owl and occasionally reacting with bitter disappointment to another Three Lions setback.
Mind you with Germany winning the World Cup while England failed to win a single game at the 2014 World Cup, perhaps Roy would be better served by getting down and dirty.
So Roy, if you are reading this, scratch your balls, pick your nose, eat your earwax – do whatever it takes to get us three priceless points against Wales to keep us on track for Euro 2016 glory.
We believe in you Roy!
Loaded staff writer Jack Beresford has produced content for Lad Bible, Axonn Media and a variety of online sports and news media outlets.