Turns Out Hipster Beards Are OVERFLOWING With Bacteria

Turns out the annoying facial hair is crawling with germs...

Shit-faced Image Beardoholic

Hipsters of the world, we have more bad news for you. Your beards not only look shitty, they’re also full of really disgusting stuff.

An experiment was conducted to find out just how many germs live in the carefully coiffed facial hair we’re so used to seeing these days.

Reporters from a news station in the US swabbed beards from scores of (probably) hipsters and discovered a disturbing truth.

They were absolutely full of bacteria, some of which microbiologist John Golobic claimed are also found in human excrement.

Weirdly, the ‘Enteric bacteria’ which was found in the beards (the same type found in poop) is also all over our body and just about everything else.

Though the find has since been disputed, which might just save the integrity of bearded men everywhere, it is still proven that hairy faced men shed more bacteria than the clean shaven lot.

A study in the journal Anaesthesia took the topic one step further, and attempted to find if Doctors with beards were actually less sterile than clean shaven ones.

Placing surgical masks over doctors with beards, the study found that: “At rest without mask wiggling the bearded subjects shed significantly more bacteria than clean-shaven males.”

Therefore, bearded men shed more poop bacteria than normal, meaning hipsters could be a significant danger to society. But hey, we knew that already…

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Loaded staff writer Danielle De La Bastide has lived all over the planet and written for BuzzFeed, Thought Catalog as well as print publications throughout the Caribbean.