How You Unbend A Paper Clip Says A Lot About Your Hidden Desires

Are you a secret social climber or maybe even a sex addict? Here’s how to find out

A still from the movie Office Space
Office Space The ultimate workplace movie Image 20th Century Fox

Papers clips. To most people they are a pretty ordinary bit of stationary traditionally used for keeping sheets of paper organised.

Occasionally, the bored office workers among us may twist one out of shape, perhaps dreaming of some alternate reality where, as the world’s greatest thief, they are capable of picking almost any lock with it.

Psychiatrist Dr Mario Gmür sees the humble paper clip as something more though.

In fact, the Swiss mental health professional, reckons how you unbend a paper clip could say a lot about you as a person.

Dubbed ‘The Paperclip Test’ Gmür has written on the topic at great length as part of a new book and even reckons people can be divided into the following categories.


The sex addict

the-sex-addict

“Passionate and sensuous, you love to be seduced. Leaping elegantly into the arms of temptation, you excel in the art of surrender.”

 

The Social Climber

the-social-climber

“Fair-minded and polite, you would not dream of stealing other people’s glory or claiming their achievements as your own. You are committed to self-improvement.”

 

The Nosy Parker 

nosy-parker

“You like to eavesdrop and snoop, whether for the thrill of it or because you stand to gain. You would make an excellent informant for office gossips – or the secret service.”

 

The False Friend 

false-friend

“You are adaptable and adroit and are capable of putting your morally dubious qualities to more public-spirited use. You would make an excellent spy.”

 

The Party-Goer 

party-goer

“You fit in anywhere and with anyone, happy to jump on the bandwagon. Easy-going and generous in your interactions, you meet new people all the time.”

 

The Two-Timer

two-timer

 “You distract your victims through cunning and sleight of hand, then rob them blind.”

 

The Warrior

the-warrior

“You take on the most ruthless aggressors and bring them down.”

 

The Upright Citizen 

the-upright-citizen

“You walk through life with your head held high, but you never seem stuck-up or condescending.”

 

So grab a paper clip and get ready to find out just how f*cked you are.

The Paperclip Test by Mario Gmür is out now published by Square Peg at £10

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Loaded staff writer Jack Beresford has produced content for Lad Bible, Axonn Media and a variety of online sports and news media outlets.