How WWE’s Shane McMahon would have saved Newcastle United

Vince McMahon’s pride and joy was once close to buying the Premier League strugglers

Shane McMahon alongside John Cena.
Shane is back Shane McMahon taking in an NBA match with WWE's John Cena. Image Noel Vasquez/Getty Images

Wrestling fans may be toasting the return of Shane McMahon to the WWE but he may have once come close to embarking on an altogether different adventure with Newcastle United.

Vince McMahon’s offspring shocked the wrestling world by returning to the ring last month, having spent several years out of the limelight.

Quite what Shane O’Mac was doing during that time is unknown, but a report from The Wrestling Observer Newsletter claims that McMahon junior attempted to buy the Magpies.

McMahon attempted to put together a consortium to purchase the club from Mike Ashley, though the deal ultimately failed to materialise.

With Ashley permanently under pressure from fans, it’s tempting to wonder what things might have been like with McMahon at the helm…

1

Money

With Ashley notoriously thrifty throughout his time at Newcastle, McMahon could have ushered in a brave new era of reckless spending. Emmanuel Adebayor? Sign him up. Mauro Zarate? Five-year deal. Shola Ameobi? Er, maybe just on a trial basis.

Heck, McMahon’s even got his own money-themed entrance music to further emphasise just how much he loves spending dosh.

Here Comes The Money Shane McMahon's WWE entrance music.

2

Mind Games

Newcastle fans know only too well about mind games, having witnessed Kevin Keegan mentally unraveling live on Sky Sports as United blew the title against Alex Ferguson’s Manchester United.

But even Fergie pales in comparison with McMahon, who once secretly bought a failing wrestling company and announced it on Monday Night Raw just to piss off his dad.

Double cross Shane McMahon defies his dad.

3

Coaching

Aside from sporting the most unusual hair-island in the Premier League, Steve McClaren has provided few memorable moments. When the club is employing John Carver as a coach, serious questions need to be asked.

Shane once trained his dad Vince to compete in the Royal Rumble. He was the second of 30 combatants to enter the ring and the last to leave it. He could do wonders with Yoan Gouffran.

The trainer Shane McMahon goes Rocky.

4

Fight

“Where’s the passion?” is often the cry heard from the Tyneside terraces. If only they could have turned to McMahon as club owner.

McMahon is always willing to put his body on the line. He once jumped 30ft off a Titantron onto another guy in a move that probably hurt him as much as his opponent.

And if the occasion called for it, he’d do the same thing at Newcastle. Whether that would achieve anything is unknown, but at least it’d make a spectacle for the fans.

Leap of faith Shane McMahon's ultimate WWE moment.

5

Boardroom Politics

With McClaren already on the board and seemingly in bed with most of Ashley’s other assembled group of executives, McMahon would have provided some fresh energy when it came to the big decisions.

Given his penchant for smashing through the occasional table too, you wouldn’t put it past him to settle high level disputes with a dive bomb or two. Hopefully they go better than this one.

Smash landing When wrestling moves go bad.

6

Rhythm

Newcastle are a team lacking identity or clear football philosophy.

McMahon could have shown them some rhythm, with his trademark Shane O’Mac shuffle offering the blueprint to a bold new era of attacking play at St James’ Park.

The dance Shane McMahon's famous shuffle.

7

Rock

“Finally the Rock, HAS COME BACK, to Newcastle.”

The words almost every self-respecting Geordie would one day love to hear and yet the simple truth is that a McMahon-owned Magpies could have made that a reality.

Granted, as this clip demonstrates, The Rock didn’t hold McMahon in much regard as a wrestler. But, even if he turned up purely to deliver a People’s Elbow to Vince’s boy, that would have been enough for most people.

The Rock says Shane McMahon gets trashed.

8

JR

Jim Ross has narrated many magical moments, but imagine if the WWE icon was given a shot at Premier League commentary. They let Mark Lawrenson do it, so why not.

McMahon would have had the clout to make that happen and YouTube mash-ups mean we know exactly what it’d be like.

Jim Ross at his best The voice of WWE at the World Cup.
JR again Jim Ross narrates Liverpool's demise.
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Loaded staff writer Jack Beresford has produced content for Lad Bible, Axonn Media and a variety of online sports and news media outlets.

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