It’s rare in life to find a moment where the opportunity to enjoy the perfect poo presents itself – but that doesn’t mean you should hold-off on doing the deed.
Unsavoury public facilities or a busy work day have both been cited as reasons for deciding against “dropping the kids off at the pool”.
But what many defecation dodgers may not realise is that avoiding a no.2 could land you in some serious shit – and we don’t mean that in the literal sense.
In fact, according to Niket Sonpal, M.D., who is an assistant clinical professor at Tuoro College of Osteopathic Medicine in New York it could be lethal.
Speaking in an interview with Womens’ Health, Sonpal most folk tend to head to the toilet the minute the urge takes hold – something that happens the moment the “stool hits part of the rectum.”
However, a few renegades may decide otherwise and that’s when the problems really begin.
Over the next couple of hours, the poo dodger in question will begin to feel the pressure – the abdominal pressure, that is.
“Some people describe it as abnormal cramping, whereas some people have more urgency,” Sonpal explains.
Things only start to get seriously shitty around six hours after the initial desire to do a dump takes hold.
It’s then that the urge to poo begins to dissipate, as the body begins to compact the unreleased faeces – that’s a lovely mental picture for you.
A feeling of constipation soon takes hold, but go beyond the six hour pooping threshold and bad things can happen, as Sonpal warns:
“I’ve never heard of anyone dying from holding poo, but in adults, voluntarily holding it in is just going to lead to impaction where the stool is rock hard.”
At this point, the defecation delayer has one of two options. They can either use laxatives to get the rock hard turd out of themselves or, worse still, enlist a doctor to literally pull the poo from their arses.
So next time you need to go, take the words of Nike to hand and “just do it.”
Loaded staff writer Jack Beresford has produced content for Lad Bible, Axonn Media and a variety of online sports and news media outlets.