Gwyneth Paltrow is not someone who inhabits planet Earth – she refuses to eat any form of corn and counts multiple bee stings among her many recommended beauty treatments.
She is an eccentric, seemingly more focused on promoting herself as a lifestyle guru rather than get involved in any kind of film work, other than the occasional appearance in an Iron Man movie.
So, when Loaded found out that Gwyneth had shared her recommendations for the best sex toys to use in the bedroom, via Goop, we expected it to be pretty out there.
What we didn’t realise though, was just how out there it would be.
Let’s start at the lower end of the scale with this rather fetching Agent Provocateur Fifty Shades of Shit-style leather whip.
Impressed? That’ll be $500, please.
Alternatively, those on a budget may want to consider purchasing this picture book full of bum shots – all 3D of course.
Alternatively, for those seeking a necklace that doubles up as vibrating nipple claps (organic of course) this Kiki De Montparnasse Droplet Necklace does the job and is available for just $395. Wow.
And then there is the Organic Extra Virgin (a paradox surely?) olive oil lube which comes in at just under $2,500 and can also come in handy when cooking chips.
Just don’t try and do the two things at once.
Last, but definitely by no means least, is the sensational Lelo Inez 24-karat gold dildo priced at a paltry $15,000.
That’s a lot of money to spend on something that is going to shoved up someones intimates.
Anyway, with all of Paltrow’s product recommendations adding up to some $69,000 in expenditure, we recommend you just head down your nearest Ann Summers or, if you are really struggling and are open to being a little bit creative, Wilkinson’s.
Loaded staff writer Jack Beresford has produced content for Lad Bible, Axonn Media and a variety of online sports and news media outlets.