It was his fourth time around the block as presenter of the Golden Globes, with many commentators wondering if he would have the balls to take the Hollywood luvies to task once again. But here at Loaded, we never doubted Ricky Gervais.
From the off, while nursing half a pint, Gervais let rip at everyone from Sean Penn to Mel Gibson via Ben Affleck and soon told the the good and the great of Hollywood exactly what he thought of them.
Gervais, who last hosted the Globes in 2012, also told the assembled acting royalty in no uncertain terms what he thinks of the awards themselves, alluding to frequently shoving one of the trophies his own up his arse.
Gervais being Gervais, he also took time to spell many of the gags out to the guests gathered in Los Angeles, brilliantly continuing to undermine their intelligence and highlight how seriously Hollywood takes itself.
From his opening monologue to his closing line, Gervais was on fire.
Here, we take a look at his best gags from the ceremony.
On the audience and Sean Penn
“Shut up you disgusting, pill-popping sexual deviant scum. I want to do this monologue and go into hiding. Not even Sean Penn will stop me. Snitch!”
On the gender pay gap
“Jennifer Lawrence made the news when she demanded equal pay for women in Hollywood. She received overwhelming support from people everywhere. There were marches on the street with nurses and factory workers saying ‘How the hell can a 25-year-old live on $52 million? Of course women should be paid the same as men for doing the same job.’ And I’d like to say now, I’m being paid exactly the same as Tina Fey and Amy Poehler last year. No, I know there were two of them, but it’s not my fault if they want to share the money, is it? That’s their stupid fault. It’s funny because it’s true.”
On his own Golden Globes
“I won three Golden Globes myself … one I keep by the bed to — it doesn’t matter why, it’s mine. I won it fair and square. It’s just the right shape and size, it’s nothing… yeah. To be clear, that was a joke about me shoving Golden Globes that I’ve won up my arse.”
Introducing Matt Damon
“It’s the star of the hilarious comedy The Martian. He is also the only person that Ben Affleck hasn’t been unfaithful to.”
Introducing Eva Longoria and America Ferrera
“Eva Longoria and America Ferrera aren’t just beautiful, talented actresses, they’re also two people who your future president Donald Trump can’t wait to deport.”
Introducing Jennifer Lawrence and Amy Schumer
“Joy and Trainwreck. No, not the name of Charlie Sheen’s two favourite hookers, the films of our next two presenters. They’re best friends by the way and if you forget, they said they’d tweet you. It’s like they’ve never had a friend before, please welcome Amy Schumer and Jennifer Lawrence.”
Introducing Mel Gibson
“I’d rather have a drink with him in his hotel room tonight than with Bill Cosby.”
At the end of the gala
“Thank you, I’m afraid that’s it. We’re out of time. From myself and Mel Gibson: Shalom.”
Loaded’s entertainment editor Jennifer O’Brien is an award-winning journalist who has written extensively about popular culture as a national newspaper columnist and author. Follow her on Twitter at @Jen_OBrien1