If anyone knows the dating game, it’s Kezia Noble.
The dating expert and attraction guru says she has helped transform the lives of thousands of men around the world with her popular masterclasses over the course of a 10-year career.
loaded wanted to know more, so we spoke to Kezia and asked her about the most common problem men come to her with. As it turns out, a huge chunk of blokes have same issue – they’re stuck in the friend zone and can’t get out.
As anyone who’s been there will know, the friend zone can be a frustrating place, and guys can spend years trapped there.
While each relationship has its own particular intricacies, no two women are alike, and being pushy is never a good look – here Kezia has five tips she believes apply to many guys’ situations:
Become less available
Kezia: A lot of guys find that when they’re with a girl they like – but she only likes them as a friend – they often become her ‘emotional tampon’, because they’re always there ready to listen to her. He’s normally got this abundance of time to spend with her because he thinks ‘the more time I spend with her, the more likely it is that she’ll like me’. Obviously, it just doesn’t work like that.
Become a man of mystery
Kezia: Don’t tell her everything. Don’t call her back when she calls you straight away, like in the old days. One of the deaths of attraction is being able to second-guess the other person because they’re so predictable. If he’s mixing things up and rocking the boat, [chances are] she’ll look at him in a different way.
A lot of people say the best thing you can do in the friend zone is to go and tell the other person how you feel. That’s the worst thing you can do. It can have really, really disastrous effects, and jeopardise the friendship. It has to be quite an incremental, slow process. The longer you’ve been in a friendship, the slower the process is.
Show your sexual side
Kezia: The third step is to start showing her that you are a sexual creature. Women tend to forget that when they’re with a guy [friend] they can end up just seeing him as a monk who’s sworn himself to chastity. Talking about other women, or making her [a little bit] jealous really. If they start looking at other women while they’re out, it gets her thinking ‘why isn’t he looking at me like that?’
Be direct with her
Kezia: The fourth step is to direct the attention more at her. For example, if she asks ‘how do I look in this dress?’, instead of going ‘yeah, you look lovely’, you should say, ‘you look really hot’. You can be totally unapologetic about it. It has to be gradual though. You wouldn’t be able to do that straight away. You have to complete the other steps beforehand.
Kezia: Now, this is the step where you tell her how you feel. There are many ways you can do this one. To be honest, she’s probably already guessing it a bit at this point, as there’s been some flirtation going on. For this step you need to say, ‘look, I’ve suddenly developed some sort of weird feelings towards you’. It’s got to be out the blue though. It won’t work if you’ve been hovering around for months and months. You’ve got to say, ‘suddenly I feel attracted to you, and it feels weird’. That makes it much more exciting and random. Although the steps are calculated, it can’t feel calculated. I believe that these are the five best ways to get out the friend zone. I’ve tried it out on many, many of my students, and it gets really, really strong results. I would say 90% of people that have used this properly have had either a fling with the girl or gone on to have a meaningful relationship with them.
So there you have it, this how-to could just be worth a try – or you could just get out there and find a girl who fancies you as much as you fancy her?
There’s plenty more fish in the sea, after all.