Drunk Football Is Now A Thing And It Looks Brilliant

Fancy a pre-game piss up? The results are even better than the Premier League

Drunk football in action
Drunk Football What could possibly go wrong? Image YouTube

Booze and football go hand-in-hand these days, much like Manchester United and expensive transfer flops, so when loaded got wind that someone was trying out something called Drunk Football we had to take a look.

The brainchild of Norwegian website Humornieu and comedic duo Morten Ramm and Bjorn Ásgeirsson, drunk football may have only been a jokey experiment by the pair but on the basis of the game that was played out it could be worth repeating.

Let’s start by looking at the basic rules behind it all.

Game time begins in the changing room for the players, who are tasked with getting as tipsy as humanely possible without pissing or puking their guts up.

Except, well a fair few end up doing a bit of both along the way.

Once suitably sloshed, it’s onto the game itself, where Drunk Football’s one key rule comes into play, namely, that anyone finding the back of the net must be immediately breathalysed by the match official on hand.

If their blood alcoholc concentration happens to be less than 1.0, their goal is chalked off and the player in question is ordered to go and imbibe enough alcohol to get off his head all over again.

And while that all may sound a little bonkers, the game played out by the Humornieu gang was something of a thriller and pretty hilarious to boot, in fact.

Early on one team took the lead only to find that the goalscorer involved was simply too sober, a development that resulted in several players knocking back copious amounts of tequila.

Then the goals began to flow, with one team taking a 3-0 lead in at half time, despite one star striker struggling to get to grips with the demands of a breathaliser (he attempted to suck on it rather than blow.)

It was a different story in the second half though, with the losing team adopting an approach of dribbling with the ball, rather than passing, before shooting themselves.

The result was a 4-3 turnaround with the game’s drunkest player scoring the winner.

Given the success of this little experiment, English fans and football enthusiasts should probably push for the game to be introduced over here – Wayne Rooney, at the very least, would be keen.

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Loaded staff writer Jack Beresford has produced content for Lad Bible, Axonn Media and a variety of online sports and news media outlets.