Someone has found arguably the worst pub in Britain and it sounds pretty terrible.
Brighton-based newspaper The Argus sent out their “Pub Spy” to review local pub, The County Oak, and his report is damning, to say the least, so bad in fact that it’s gone viral.
According to promotional material for The County Oak, the atmosphere is supposed to be “warm and friendly,” this was not what the writer discovered upon first entering the establishment.
“I’d already fought my way through the scaffolding yard masquerading as a car park by the time a huge beast lurched out of The County Oak and threw up over my feet.”
Not the best introduction to a place that claims to be kid-friendly. He goes to describe the bar staff as somewhat homegrown, comparing them to characters from Shameless and Celebrity Juice, “but without the class of either of these programmes.”
Ouch. He paints an atmosphere that in no way resembles warm or inviting, including visuals of a giant American bulldog which he claimed was probably the most intelligent being in the place and an aimless child throwing sharp darts around.
The colour scheme also made him nauseous, and at some point, during his visit, the locals were attempting a game involving touching their toes that resulted in one too many farts.
To conclude his journey through hell, the writer observed a man decked in bright pink shirt fall to the ground drunkenly claiming to have torn something in his groin. To examine the injury he pulled down his pants exposing himself to the revellers.
This review probably won’t help their business, but we expect the proprietors of The County Oak don’t quite care.
So far, there are only two reviews on Yelp with one commenter claiming in the understatement of the year that, “the locals are friendly if a little weird.”
We’d say so.
The article is gaining a bit of backlash on the newspaper’s social media, one comment definitely made its mark.
Loaded staff writer Danielle De La Bastide has lived all over the planet and written for BuzzFeed, Thought Catalog as well as print publications throughout the Caribbean.