Chesney Hawkes and Peter Shilton deliver the cold, hard truth to England fans

Shilts even does a John Barnes-style 'rap'.

Chesney Hawkes and Peter Shilton The Realistic Anthem
Unlikely teammates Chesney Hawkes and Peter Shilton in The Realistic Anthem music video. Image Picture YouTube/Rustlers

We’ve had David Baddiel and Frank Skinner’s Three Lions and New Order’s World In Motion – now there’s a new football anthem for England fans.

The Realistic Anthem comes from the unlikely duo of Chesney Hawkes (of The One And Only fame) and England’s most capped player Peter Shilton. Yes, really!

The pair teamed up with Rustler’s burgers to come up with a cold, hard reality check for England fans – we’re not actually that good. Euro 96 might be looked back on with fondness, but it’s rose-tinted nostalgia.

England has never won an opening game at the Euros and never won a knockout game in 90 minutes at the tournament. Hawkes and Shilton are embracing just how terrible we are.

“Let’s be realistic, Let’s think logically, No trophies in half a century, Blame it on the ref or injury,” croons Hawkes.

Shilton even chips in with a spoken word section to rival John Barnes’ World In Motion rap. Sadly it’s not about holding and giving and getting round the back, instead a call to focus on England’s other achievements.

“Come on England. We haven’t made a final in 50 years,” Shilton says. “So what does it matter if we don’t win one more time? We invented the World Wide Web. Created the jet engine. And pioneered DNA sequencing.”

We hate to say it, but this song probably has a point.

Watch the cast of Warcraft discuss Chesney Hawkes’ cut cameo with Loaded below…

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Loaded digital media manager Simon Reynolds has written about film and entertainment for various leading websites since 2008. Follow Simon at @simonreyn

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