Carponizer Is The Erotic Calendar For 2017 You Didn’t Know You Needed

Seize the carp

Pretty fishy Image Carponizer Hendrik Pohler

As the new year is fast approaching and 2017 calendars are out in stores, we at loaded thought one particular contribution from Germany was very special and deserving of some recognition.

Now, sexy and carp are not words you’d likely find together, but a new calendar has managed to combine the two spectacularly well.

Carponizer is an erotic calendar like no other, filing each month of next year with topless women holding giant freshwater fish, because trawlers have needs too. It’s also the most popular sports-themed calendar in Germany.  

This niche product is the creation of almanac and angler lover Hendrik Pohler, who describes it on Amazon as “one of the most extraordinary ideas to present this magnificent fish in an attractive setting.”

Next year marks the third year of production for Pohler who can’t seem to keep the glossy, spiral bound thing on the shelves.

He goes on to explain, in detail, the ways they went about bringing this revolutionary object to life, including taking special care with the Carps that were lucky enough to get this gig.

“During the shoot, two competent caretakers were responsible for the well-being of the scaly main actors,” he writes.

The unretouched pictures are mostly set in a lake environment with gorgeous ladies kneeling in shallow water, effortlessly holding giant fish. No word on whether the animals survived the shoot despite Pohler’s assurances that they were handled well. Hours out of the water can kill a fish we’ve heard. Carpe Diem, we say.  

Carponizer is available now on for the bargain price of 18.95 Euro and ships worldwide.


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