For kids of a particular age Barney the purple dinosaur was an important part of life.
He sang, he danced, he taught us so much about the world around us. Usually while singing and dancing.
But, like many a beloved kids’ TV character before and since, eventually Barney began to fade from view, with his legion of fans moving onto more mature things.
Barney was a pretty regular fixture on our TV screens from 1991 through to 2001.
Once it was all over David Joyner, the man who played the purple dinosaur, found himself at a crossroads. What would he do with his life, post-Barney?
The answer, apparently, was to open his own business helping couples learn the finer points of tantric sex.
For those unclear on what tantric sex ism it’s something Sting does with his wife Trudie Styler and involves sex last for a very long time (apparently the orgasms are very intense.)
Joyner is having the last laugh though – according to an interview with Vice, people are paying the artist formerly known as Barney anywhere up to £250 per three to four-hour session.
For that price, Joyner’s clients can look forward to a ritual bath, chakra balancing and a massage that may or may not lead to “mind blowing orgasms”.
Speaking to Vice, Joyner explained:
“When the lingam [penis] and the yoni [vagina] meet, there’s a certain energy that takes place that hands on the body alone cannot create.”
Good to know.
Anyway, Barney has been in this line of business since 2004 and has managed to attract a variety of clients from all over the world thanks to word-of-mouth recommendations and Tinder.
Oh and he has a strict female-only rule when it comes to clientele.
“When you go down on a woman (orally), it should be just like you’re saying grace, like blessing the food you’re about to receive,” Joyner added in his chat with Vice, which is…nice.
Still, it’s nice to know Barney landed on his feet and didn’t have to turn to adult movies like Dustin Diamond aka Screech from Saved By The Bell.
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Loaded staff writer Jack Beresford has produced content for Lad Bible, Axonn Media and a variety of online sports and news media outlets.