50 Shades Of Grey changed the face of adult literature forever when it was released in 2011, and erotic novels are more popular than ever. However, there’s some pretty shoddy sex writing out there, and not every adult book can be a success.
That’s where the Bad Sex Award comes in – the prize has been handed out for the last 24 years, and recognise the least erotic, and most badly-written sex literature on the market.
It’s been a year since Morrissey won the Bad Sex Award for his debut novel List of the Lost, which contained scenes referring to male members as “bulbous salutations” and lovers as ‘giggling snowball of full-figured copulations’ – maybe stick to the songs Mozza, eh?
Now, the 2016 winner has been announced, and the author responsible for the worst erotic writing of the year is Italian writer Erri De Luca.
Take a look at the passage of his novel The Day Before Happiness which won him the award below (warning: NSFW).
“My prick was a plank stuck to her stomach. With a swerve of her hips, she turned me over and I was on top of her. She opened her legs, pulled up her dress and, holding my hips over her, pushed my prick against her opening. I was her plaything, which she moved around. Our sexes were ready, poised in expectation, barely touching each other: ballet dancers hovering en pointe.”
“Our sexes were ready, poised in expectation.”
Erri De Luca’s a successful novelist in his own country, and even won the 2013 European Prize for Literature, so its difficult to see how things got this bad.
Tom Connolly’s In Men Like Air was also nominated, largely because of this staggering passage:
“Often she cooked exotic meals and put chillies or spices in her mouth while preparing the food and sucked him while the food cooked and then told him to fuck her while his manhood was burning rock-hard with fire.”
50 Shades Of Grey has a LOT to answer for…