9 Hilariously “Winning” Charlie Sheen Quotes

Covering acting, insomnia, magic, and family.

Charlie Sheen
Big Time Charlie The last bad boy of Hollywood.

Charlie Sheen is an unstoppable force of nature that shows no signs of slowing down anytime soon.

A Hollywood bad boy is his prime and a damn fine actor to boot, Sheen has been living the crazy life since leaving the hit sitcom Two And Half Men with giant swords, tiger blood and the concept of forever “winning” all becoming part of his repertoire.

He’s also become something of a quote machine, capable of firing off any number of weird and wonderful comments on life, the universe and the world as we know it.

Here are nine of his funniest quotes to date.


9

  On drugs:

“I probably took more drugs than anyone could survive. I was banging seven-gram rocks, because that’s how I roll. I have one speed, I have one gear: Go.”

 

8

Hollywood hellraiser Charlie Sheen.

On addiction:

“I am on a drug – it’s called Charlie Sheen. It’s not available because if you try it, you will die. Your face will melt off and your children will weep over your exploded body.”

 

7

Hollywood hellraiser Charlie Sheen.

On history:

“Thomas Jefferson was a pussy.”

 

6

Hollywood hellraiser Charlie Sheen.

On partying:

“The run I was on made Sinatra, Flynn, Jagger, Richards, all of them, just look like droopy-eyed, armless children.”

 

5

Hollywood hellraiser Charlie Sheen.

On acting:

“I’m tired of pretending like I’m not special. I’m tired of pretending like I’m not bitchin’, a total freakin’ rock star from Mars.”

 

4

Hollywood hellraiser Charlie Sheen.

On family:

“If you’re a part of my family, I will love you violently.”

 

3

Hollywood hellraiser Charlie Sheen.

On his brain:

“If you borrowed my brain for five seconds, you’d be like, ‘Dude! Can’t handle it, unplug this bastard!’ It fires in a way that’s maybe not from, uh… this terrestrial realm.”

 

2

Hollywood hellraiser Charlie Sheen.

On insomnia:

“The nights I don’t sleep it’s because there’s a higher calling telling me to stand guard.”

 

1

Hollywood hellraiser Charlie Sheen.

On magic:

“I’m sorry man, I got magic and I’ve got poetry in my fingertips, you know, most of the time, and this includes naps.” 

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Loaded staff writer Jack Beresford has produced content for Lad Bible, Axonn Media and a variety of online sports and news media outlets.