Scientists could be just two years away from creating a hybrid woolly mammoth using DNA discovered in specimens frozen deep beneath the ice of Siberia.
And while there are no doubt plenty of Jurassic Park Dr Ian Malcolm types warning that these scientists have been “so preoccupied with whether or not they could, they didn’t stop to think if they should” we’re pretty damn excited about this breakthrough.
In fact, why should stop at just the woolly mammoth? Why not bring back few more extinct species while we’re at it. Yes, yes, we know, the complete lack of humility for nature that’s being displayed here is staggering, but just hear us out on this one.
Last spotted way back in 1662, now seems like the perfect time to resurrect the Dodo, and you know those eggs would become a must-have addition to any proper hipster fry-up. Preferably served in some sort of wanky, mock egg shell or handmade dodo coffin.
Any child of the 90s will have developed an appreciation for Sabre-toothed cats thanks to the Power Rangers and after 55 million years out of the game now seems like the perfect time to bring these dentally-challenged felines back. Probably no good as pets though.
The reasoning behind resurrecting the Great Auk is as much to do with guilt as anything. According to history, the very last of these pretty innocent looking birds was killed in Scotland by three men who were convinced it was a witch. Yeah, sorry about that.
Though hunting, surprise surprise, played a pretty big role in the extinction of these Spain-based goat creatures, it’s widely believed that the very last of these bad boys was killed, Darwin Awards-style, by a falling tree back in 2000. Let’s give them another go.
West African Black Rhinoceros
Declared officially extinct in 2011, the West African Black Rhinoceros was hunted to near extinction because some believed their horns had medicinal properties. Idiots. Everyone knows it’s Rhinoceros penis that has the magic healing properties. Kidding!
Stellars Sea Cows
First discovered by naturalist George Steller, rather than the premium beer brand of a similar name, it took us just 27 years to hunt Stellers Sea Cow into oblivion. Part of the problem was that these bulbous beats were not able to submerge themselves. We’re all going to hell.
Another recently extinct species. the final Tasmanian Tiger died in a zoo back in 1936 having been pretty much hunted to death. Again. Much like the sabre-toothed cat, of course, there is a risk that bringing back the Tasmanian Tiger could blow up in our faces. And by blow up in our faces, we mean these animals could end up literally biting our faces off. But hey, life finds a way.
Loaded staff writer Jack Beresford has produced content for Lad Bible, Axonn Media and a variety of online sports and news media outlets.