Your wedding day is supposed to be the most special, magical, day of your whole life – but sometimes things just don’t go to plan.
Alcohol can often play a part, but sometimes things can derail for equally weird and not-so-wonderful reasons. At the time, this sort of thing probably feels like the end of the world to the prospective bride and groom.
But, in time, these happy couples are able to look back and laugh at their misfortune. Well, some of them are at least. Here are 11 real-life wedding horror stories as told by those there to witness them, which come courtesy of the good people over at Reddit. Enjoy!
The Worst Best Man
“I worked weddings for a living and once saw the best man get loaded, give a speech, and profess his love of the bride and how they had slept together two nights before. Open bar: 1, best man: 0”
“Not a bad thing that happened for me, just really awkward. Went to wedding of someone from my church a few years back. When it came time to say the vows, he pulls out a sheet of paper and reads on for like 5 minutes, getting really intimate and pouring his heart out to her. It was kind of awkward tbh. But the icing on the cake was her response. When he was done, she just giggled loudly and awkwardly and got out “ditto!” That’s it. That was her wedding vow. So freaking awkward.”
“Bride’s step-mother and mother got into a fight. Step-mother bit the mother. Wedding went to a screeching halt.”
“There was this guy outside of the hotel walking up to groups of people in the smoking area, asking how much each person weighed. He was very overweight himself, and his jeans looked to be on inside out. He was severely underdressed for the occasion, and no one seemed to know him. Anyways, he would ask a persons weight, and then exclaim “I can bench that!”. Until one guy (I think he was a family member of the bride) got into an argument with him and started asking around if anyone knew this person, figuring that he was a wedding crasher. That’s when this gentleman decided to cut a deal with everyone. “If I can pick up that bench with my bare hands, can I stay for the party?” To which everyone agrees, because the bench was clearly bolted to the ground. So, he walks over, puts his hands on the bench, crouches down, and with all of his might… shits his pants in front of everyone. He stood up and waddled off through the parking lot to never be seen again. I did hear throughout the night people talking about a guy who was on shrooms outside, trying to lift a bench. So, I guess he was also tripping balls.”
“Divorced father of the groom started up about how much better his new wife was compared to his old wife, during his speech. On and on and the qualities of Asian women vs white women. I’ve never looked at my shoes so hard in my life.”
Catching The Bouquet
“For the bouquet toss, a middle-aged guy forced his middle-aged girlfriend out onto the floor, then stood by her so she couldn’t leave. The bouquet was caught by an excited little girl. The guy proceeded to yank the bouquet out of the little girl’s hands, gave it to his middle-aged girlfriend, then ran off the floor cheering loudly to high-five one of his buddies. The little girl ran away crying.”
A Mass Brawl
“I worked at a wedding venue for 4 years. Having to stop a Bride’s Stepdad from hitting her over the head with a chair was a highlight. The whole room were just fighting with each other, the best man kicked the Mother in Law. Different wedding, some dickhead bit the DJ because he refused to play a certain song. For me the absolute worst one was when the newlyweds were arguing at the end of the night, in front of their young son, she admitted to cheating on him. It all came out there and then in front of his family and he was devestated.”
“There was like an 8 year old boy who had loads of confetti in his hand so I didn’t think much of it, turns out he thought it was sugar paper and ate all of, he then proceeded to projectile vomit everywhere through the middle of the ceremony. Was one of the funniest and most disgusting moments of my life”
“At my own wedding reception, I saw my wife’s grandma, who was about 98, very slowly and with a terrible sense of inevitability fall sideways off her chair. She remained in a sitting position but just slooowly tilted sideways til she was on the floor, still in the exact same pose. It sounds shitty but all I could think was ‘fucksake don’t die at our wedding please don’t die at our wedding’. Luckily she was fine, and lived for another few years to see her 100th birthday. ”
“I was friends with a couple that had split right before my wedding. I knew I couldn’t invite both of them and I was closer friends with guy but he decided to move out of state after the break up so I invited the girl, let’s call her Kelly. Kelly shows up with a new younger knock-off version of her recent ex. Cool, whatever. Kelly is about 5’11, 120 pounds, maybe. Good looking girl, long legs. She decided to wear a mini pleather skirt which wouldn’t have been too bad, only there was also a two inch slit up the back. A little much for a wedding but whatever. The whole wedding family members, friends and coworkers kept asking me who Kelly was and if I knew she was basically flashing all her goodies to the whole guest list all night, including the children. See, I was too distracted by my wedding to notice that Kelly also decided to not wear underwear. So every time she sat down during the ceremony and reception her chonch and ass would be visible for all behind her to see. Thanks Kelly, now my 90 year old great grandma knows all too well what your vagina looks like.”
A Grounded Groom
“One of my best friends weddings…..The groom got so drunk that he straight disappeared from the reception. Shit got real awkward when it was time for the wedding to be OVER. The venue was kicking us out and the bride and groom were supposed to take off in their vintage car and drive off to their honeymoon suite. The music went off, lights went on, and it turned into the guests searching for the damn groom. My husband finally found him in the parking lot basically face down on his lips. He helped him back into the wedding which was basically the most awkward walk of shame past the bride’s glaring dad and grandfather. The groom was too drunk to drive brides grandfather drove them to the hotel suite (which was a 30 minute drive). My friend (the bride) later told me that when they got in the room, her new husband, passed out cold on the bed and she had to wander the halls in her wedding dress looking for someone to unhook her dress for her so she could get out of it. :-(“
Loaded staff writer Jack Beresford has produced content for Lad Bible, Axonn Media and a variety of online sports and news media outlets.