Nobody likes a smartarse but plenty of people enjoy a clever joke now and then.
Humour might be a thoroughly selective thing but there’s something undeniably satisfying about getting a joke that might leave other people feeling a little bit lost. So when someone posed the question “What’s the most intellectual joke you know?” on Reddit, the responses did not disappoint.
Here are 11 of loaded’s favourites – how many do you get? Like, really get?
Who is this Rorschach guy and why does he paint so many pictures of my parents fighting?
So, after a long day’s work in the lab, Pavlov sits down in the pub for a cold beer and some snacks. Everything’s calm, until somebody rings the bell for the waiter. Pavlov immediately tenses up, jumps from his chair (almost knocking over his pint), exclaiming: “Holy shit! I have to feed the damn dog!”
A biologist, a chemist, and a statistician are out hunting. The biologist shoots at a deer and misses 5ft to the left, the chemist takes a shot and misses 5ft to the right, the statistician yells “We got ’em!”
A Roman senator walks into a bar and orders a martinus. The bartender looks at him quizzically and says, “you mean a martini?”
The senator shakes his head and replies, “no thanks, just one.”
A guy was standing on top of a building, ready to jump. A physicist was walking by, and seeing this, shouts: “Don’t do it!!! You have so much potential”.
Guy goes on a date and the next day his friend asks how it went.
Guy: Well, not so great. I couldn’t stop talking about my obsession with simplifying fractions.
Friend: Yeah, you really shouldn’t do that.
Guy: Yeah well, you know what the say. Hindsight is 1.
A physicist runs a red light, and a cop pulls him over.
“Sir,” says the cop, “you just ran a red light.”
“It looked like it was green to me, officer.”
The cop writes him a ticket for speeding instead.
If you pour root beer into a square glass it becomes beer.
A Freudian slip is when you say one thing and mean your mother.
Why can’t Marxists enjoy a nice Darjeeling?
Because all proper tea is theft.
I bought the worlds worst Thesaurus yesterday. Not only is it terrible, but it’s terrible.