These heartbreaking lyrics perfectly encapsulate Kolo Toure’s Celtic unveiling

Kolo Toure was happy in the haze of a drunken hour...

Brendan Rodgers at Celtic.
Will Rodgers give Toure the thumbs up? Celtic have signed Kolo Toure from Liverpool. Image Clive Mason/Getty Images

In years to come, Kolo Toure will appear as something of a significant figure in the realm of social media and football.

The former Arsenal, Manchester City and Liverpool man has made a habit of generating hilarious headlines online in the twilight years of his career.

From reportedly posing as a used car salesman to snare young women to simply pulling weird faces and doing silly sh*t in interviews, the Ivorian is something of a cult favourite.

So when it was announced that the 35-year-old was signing for Celtic on a one-year deal, fans were, understandably, excited.

The only problem was, Toure didn’t seem to share such convictions.

Captured looking sad upon his unveiling at Celtic Park, his expression brought to mind the lyrics of a 1,000 heartbreaking songs. Here are a few examples.

At first he appeared deep in though, much like the musings of one John Lennon on “Imagine.”

Toure 1


The work of a certain Akon also appeared to resonate with a man who just realised he’s going to have to hang about with Scott Brown for the next 12 months.

Toure 7


Indeed, there was a look on his face that suggested the deal had been done in haste and was now being repented at leisure. The Smiths summed it up best…

Toure 2


The words of Celtic crybaby fan Rod Stewart on “The First Cut Is The Deepest” suddenly had new meaning.

Toure 8


Because “Everybody Hurts” don’t know Kolo. “Sometimes, everybody cries.” Even Alexander Kolarov.

Toure 5


It’s a Mad, Mad World alright, especially when a 35-year-old Liverpool reserve gets a chance at Champions League football this season.

Toure 6


But then again, perhaps Coldplay summed it up best for Kolo in those last few years at Liverpool and certainly in last season’s Europa League final…

Toure 3


Toure went from Arsenal hero to Liverpool laughing stock. With that in mind, he probably thinks about Arsene Wenger a lot these days…

Toure 4


And he misses Manchester City. Like the deserts miss the rain. Not that they miss rain in Manchester…

Toure 9


The again, maybe Kolo has something far more bat-sh*t abstract going on upstairs…

Toure 10

We just hope you\re okay Kolo.

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